Mr. Pitiful
09-19-2004, 11:38 PM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Another one of those excrutiatingly boring meetings today. Try to liven things up by summoning one of the people back from the dead. Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
This is a good time for you to start your on-line loan shark business. Start small, though. Try to be sort of a "loan piranha", at first. Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Soon you will find something that is almost, but not quite, the cat's pajamas. More like the cat's jock strap, in this case. Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Beware of men on stilts, today. (I'm sorry, but professional ethics prevent me from revealing more. You'll understand, though, when the "situation" occurs.) Leo (July 23 - August 22)
A moth the size of a Boeing 747 will erupt from a nearby hillside today, and go off to help a huge semi-aquatic rubbery dinosaur fight off an alien attack. So what are you doing to help? Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Good day to bring donuts to a meeting. Later, ask people how their diets are going. Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Someone will ask "How are you?" for the millionth time. You should celebrate the occasion by having a speech prepared - something embarassingly intimate is usually best. "Glad you asked, Bob. I'm having a darned tough time getting rid of these pesky genital warts, for one thing..." Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Resist temptation, today. You might have to get rough with it, or even wrestle it to the ground. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will realize that it seems quite impossible to make any sense out of life, especially when you consider what life must be like in Nebraska. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Nobody knows the trouble you've seen. Except for Bob, that is. You know - the quiet neighbor, with the binoculars? Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
While poring over some old historical documents, you will discover that the Norman invasion was actually supposed to be the "Bob" invasion, but Norman stole the credit for it. Sadly, it will turn out to be too late to change it now. Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Try to avoid nibbling on things today. Despite recent developments, you don't actually know your friend that well yet.
:D
Another one of those excrutiatingly boring meetings today. Try to liven things up by summoning one of the people back from the dead. Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
This is a good time for you to start your on-line loan shark business. Start small, though. Try to be sort of a "loan piranha", at first. Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Soon you will find something that is almost, but not quite, the cat's pajamas. More like the cat's jock strap, in this case. Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Beware of men on stilts, today. (I'm sorry, but professional ethics prevent me from revealing more. You'll understand, though, when the "situation" occurs.) Leo (July 23 - August 22)
A moth the size of a Boeing 747 will erupt from a nearby hillside today, and go off to help a huge semi-aquatic rubbery dinosaur fight off an alien attack. So what are you doing to help? Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Good day to bring donuts to a meeting. Later, ask people how their diets are going. Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Someone will ask "How are you?" for the millionth time. You should celebrate the occasion by having a speech prepared - something embarassingly intimate is usually best. "Glad you asked, Bob. I'm having a darned tough time getting rid of these pesky genital warts, for one thing..." Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Resist temptation, today. You might have to get rough with it, or even wrestle it to the ground. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will realize that it seems quite impossible to make any sense out of life, especially when you consider what life must be like in Nebraska. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Nobody knows the trouble you've seen. Except for Bob, that is. You know - the quiet neighbor, with the binoculars? Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
While poring over some old historical documents, you will discover that the Norman invasion was actually supposed to be the "Bob" invasion, but Norman stole the credit for it. Sadly, it will turn out to be too late to change it now. Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Try to avoid nibbling on things today. Despite recent developments, you don't actually know your friend that well yet.
:D