Mr. Pitiful
09-21-2004, 09:02 PM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Since you have mastered chewing gum and walking without falling or tripping. You are now ready to master the art of simultaneously patting your head and rubbing your tummy, you will move on soon to patting your head and rubbing someone else’s tummy. Hummm, sounds like fun, I might just try that myself.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today's a good day for original stinking and bursts of creativity. Ooops, I meant thinking, Also, not a good day to wear flammable clothing.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
A man dressed like a giant shrimp will roar past you in an experimental hovercraft, today. (Again.) you best lay off the brewskys in the early morning.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will have to take someone aside and gently explain that a "briefcase" is not actually for undergarments. Remember: you probably made a few silly mistakes yourself, when you were just starting out. Also keep in mind that a Pantry is not a place to store panties. Duh! Now I found out.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will discover a secret about the Spice Girls - most of them can't tell Cumin from Coriander. In fact, some of them are vague about whether Black and Red Pepper come from different types of plants. You will quite sensibly decide to avoid going to their place for dinner. I’ll be glad to take your place just send me the invitation.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Thrombosis. Beware. Also, your best friend will rush up and indicate by nonverbal means that Timmy is trapped under a log, or a log is under Timmy, whichever (again).
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
People will stare at you today. Unknown to you, you are starting to look more and more like a large frog, best if you did something about that wart, you know which one. A career in basketball may be in your future.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Beware of rodents., and flying creatures, you’re starting to look like a tasty meal for them.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Everyone you work with will bring Kim Chee for lunch, today. They're just doing it to be difficult. You can get even by bringing in some green chipotle chicken onion cheese enchiladas smothered with Pepto Bismal tomorrow.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Beware of clams, today. Them slimy little things.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Someone will ask you what you want to do this weekend. That may seem like a good time to say "What am I, psychic?" It's not, though.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Good day to sip tea. Remember to extend your pinkie! And cross your legs.
:D
Since you have mastered chewing gum and walking without falling or tripping. You are now ready to master the art of simultaneously patting your head and rubbing your tummy, you will move on soon to patting your head and rubbing someone else’s tummy. Hummm, sounds like fun, I might just try that myself.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today's a good day for original stinking and bursts of creativity. Ooops, I meant thinking, Also, not a good day to wear flammable clothing.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
A man dressed like a giant shrimp will roar past you in an experimental hovercraft, today. (Again.) you best lay off the brewskys in the early morning.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will have to take someone aside and gently explain that a "briefcase" is not actually for undergarments. Remember: you probably made a few silly mistakes yourself, when you were just starting out. Also keep in mind that a Pantry is not a place to store panties. Duh! Now I found out.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will discover a secret about the Spice Girls - most of them can't tell Cumin from Coriander. In fact, some of them are vague about whether Black and Red Pepper come from different types of plants. You will quite sensibly decide to avoid going to their place for dinner. I’ll be glad to take your place just send me the invitation.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Thrombosis. Beware. Also, your best friend will rush up and indicate by nonverbal means that Timmy is trapped under a log, or a log is under Timmy, whichever (again).
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
People will stare at you today. Unknown to you, you are starting to look more and more like a large frog, best if you did something about that wart, you know which one. A career in basketball may be in your future.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Beware of rodents., and flying creatures, you’re starting to look like a tasty meal for them.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Everyone you work with will bring Kim Chee for lunch, today. They're just doing it to be difficult. You can get even by bringing in some green chipotle chicken onion cheese enchiladas smothered with Pepto Bismal tomorrow.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Beware of clams, today. Them slimy little things.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Someone will ask you what you want to do this weekend. That may seem like a good time to say "What am I, psychic?" It's not, though.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Good day to sip tea. Remember to extend your pinkie! And cross your legs.
:D