Mr. Pitiful
09-24-2004, 09:21 PM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will develop a sudden bizarre craving for a bologna sandwich on white bread with mayonnaise and iceberg lettuce. Fight it! It’s not worth it, You'll be running around all day with Doggy breath, but since you went through all the trouble of making it, I’ll take it.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Your car is possessed again, so you should swing by the exorcist on the way to work. I always hate it when mine is repossessed...
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good day to go around "pinching" people. Hey! It’s a lot of fun. Just watch out for a few punches in response.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You are about to burn the roof of your mouth on pizza. It won't be the first time, either. But when this happens, just play it off, and say aloud.( It’s not Delivery,,, It’s Di-Jiorno Ouch!!!
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will lie to yourself. Amusingly, you will be completely taken in, and will be very annoyed later when the truth comes out. Naughty naughty.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Ever had one of those times when you ask yourself "What are the crunchy things in the cereal?" and a little voice say’s "Snap Crackle and Poop?" Soon, you will.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Today you will attempt to capitalize on the success of SPAM by inventing SPEEF. Unfortunately, you would have been much better off trying to make SPICKEN, instead. Although SPEEF has a nice ring to it.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
And old friend will call today, who you haven't talked to in years. He'll remind you that you owe him money. So much for the new shoes, Bummer!!
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will find a renewed interest in home repair or remodeling soon. Oddly, that will occur shortly after a visit by Mr. Vila. Your long lost cousin.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Someone you've never met will come up and give you a wedgie today. You don't have to stand for that, though, and you should not put on any under wear just to spoil their attempt..
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Small fluffy animals will come over and lean on you, today. It's just their way of showing their appreciation, and of telling you that you are a gremlin also .
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to foresee any more, unless I get paid .
:D
You will develop a sudden bizarre craving for a bologna sandwich on white bread with mayonnaise and iceberg lettuce. Fight it! It’s not worth it, You'll be running around all day with Doggy breath, but since you went through all the trouble of making it, I’ll take it.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Your car is possessed again, so you should swing by the exorcist on the way to work. I always hate it when mine is repossessed...
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good day to go around "pinching" people. Hey! It’s a lot of fun. Just watch out for a few punches in response.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You are about to burn the roof of your mouth on pizza. It won't be the first time, either. But when this happens, just play it off, and say aloud.( It’s not Delivery,,, It’s Di-Jiorno Ouch!!!
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will lie to yourself. Amusingly, you will be completely taken in, and will be very annoyed later when the truth comes out. Naughty naughty.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Ever had one of those times when you ask yourself "What are the crunchy things in the cereal?" and a little voice say’s "Snap Crackle and Poop?" Soon, you will.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Today you will attempt to capitalize on the success of SPAM by inventing SPEEF. Unfortunately, you would have been much better off trying to make SPICKEN, instead. Although SPEEF has a nice ring to it.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
And old friend will call today, who you haven't talked to in years. He'll remind you that you owe him money. So much for the new shoes, Bummer!!
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will find a renewed interest in home repair or remodeling soon. Oddly, that will occur shortly after a visit by Mr. Vila. Your long lost cousin.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Someone you've never met will come up and give you a wedgie today. You don't have to stand for that, though, and you should not put on any under wear just to spoil their attempt..
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Small fluffy animals will come over and lean on you, today. It's just their way of showing their appreciation, and of telling you that you are a gremlin also .
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to foresee any more, unless I get paid .
:D