Mr. Pitiful
09-25-2004, 11:46 PM
:D
ARIES
Stars from a far-off galaxy are telling you that you will find your dream date who is also willing to mate with you. Unfortunately you have to wait for two more months because the name of this mate is being sent via Donkey Express Postal Service.
TAURUS
This week, LOVE is a four letter word, try to DUMP the Duck you think is ULGY, COPE with the HURT, and HOPE to FIND a RICH, DUMB BABE to MAKE out with. Unfortunately, as in all things material, you lose
Gemini
Jupiter is in Uranus, so you'll have a problem easing things out. Get some laxatives, that might help. But for sure make a doctor's appointment.
CANCER
Suddenly you're the hottest chick in college, People want to hang out with you and laugh at your jokes. You think it's because your best friend sent your photo for the Miss India contest, but your friend actually sent it to Mad Magazine.
Leo
You will be able to communicate with one of the planets in our vast solar system, to bad though, the only one that will answer is Pluto. But don't feel bad, look at the bright side, you'll be able to see Mickey Mouse, without going to Disneyland.
VIRGO
Your co-workers act like a pack of wolfes. Your aunties move around like a herd of cows. Your chick and her friends behave like a flock of seagulls. Your folks think like blocks of wood. Your life is a box of chocolates.
LIBRA
You always knew you had a magnetic personality and now you can use this to your advantage in the week to come! And if you think your crush will come sailing into your arms...sorry - you will only be attracting metallic objects!!! Don’t despair, I am sure the electronics industry has use for your' er...talents.
SCORPIO
You are brave, strong and fearless, you lead people with your zeal and profundity. You are flawless in your flexibility and decisiveness, you are the perfect person in the world...to believe in this horroscope.
SAGITTARIUS
Your Rahu is on the 19th planet of the Milky Way, and your Ketu is not a famous mountain. Hence there is no one to save you after midnight from the mysterious catastrophic effects of television's soft porn Surya and Udaya channels.
CRAPPYCORN
"Stale Capri corn flakes this fortnight make you contract gangrene of the stomach lining. This leads to gobar gas and your near and dear ones confine you to a Sulabh Sauchalaya. You will have the strange feeling of being sucked into a commode.
AQUARIUS
Your singing venture will make you pots of money. But Excise, Income Tax, Octroi, Unions and government inspectors will leave you with enough money to buy yourself a comic book. Choose Garfield--he hates life too.
Pisces
You will get an offer on the internet, in sales, which will be very tempting, be your own boss, work from your computer, invest very little and make tons of money, sounds familiar? Well you will be selling cans of Tuna, I wonder why? cause you are a Pisces? (fish)
:D
Have a Great Weekend. See You'all Monday..
ARIES
Stars from a far-off galaxy are telling you that you will find your dream date who is also willing to mate with you. Unfortunately you have to wait for two more months because the name of this mate is being sent via Donkey Express Postal Service.
TAURUS
This week, LOVE is a four letter word, try to DUMP the Duck you think is ULGY, COPE with the HURT, and HOPE to FIND a RICH, DUMB BABE to MAKE out with. Unfortunately, as in all things material, you lose
Gemini
Jupiter is in Uranus, so you'll have a problem easing things out. Get some laxatives, that might help. But for sure make a doctor's appointment.
CANCER
Suddenly you're the hottest chick in college, People want to hang out with you and laugh at your jokes. You think it's because your best friend sent your photo for the Miss India contest, but your friend actually sent it to Mad Magazine.
Leo
You will be able to communicate with one of the planets in our vast solar system, to bad though, the only one that will answer is Pluto. But don't feel bad, look at the bright side, you'll be able to see Mickey Mouse, without going to Disneyland.
VIRGO
Your co-workers act like a pack of wolfes. Your aunties move around like a herd of cows. Your chick and her friends behave like a flock of seagulls. Your folks think like blocks of wood. Your life is a box of chocolates.
LIBRA
You always knew you had a magnetic personality and now you can use this to your advantage in the week to come! And if you think your crush will come sailing into your arms...sorry - you will only be attracting metallic objects!!! Don’t despair, I am sure the electronics industry has use for your' er...talents.
SCORPIO
You are brave, strong and fearless, you lead people with your zeal and profundity. You are flawless in your flexibility and decisiveness, you are the perfect person in the world...to believe in this horroscope.
SAGITTARIUS
Your Rahu is on the 19th planet of the Milky Way, and your Ketu is not a famous mountain. Hence there is no one to save you after midnight from the mysterious catastrophic effects of television's soft porn Surya and Udaya channels.
CRAPPYCORN
"Stale Capri corn flakes this fortnight make you contract gangrene of the stomach lining. This leads to gobar gas and your near and dear ones confine you to a Sulabh Sauchalaya. You will have the strange feeling of being sucked into a commode.
AQUARIUS
Your singing venture will make you pots of money. But Excise, Income Tax, Octroi, Unions and government inspectors will leave you with enough money to buy yourself a comic book. Choose Garfield--he hates life too.
Pisces
You will get an offer on the internet, in sales, which will be very tempting, be your own boss, work from your computer, invest very little and make tons of money, sounds familiar? Well you will be selling cans of Tuna, I wonder why? cause you are a Pisces? (fish)
:D
Have a Great Weekend. See You'all Monday..