Mr. Pitiful
10-03-2004, 07:14 PM
Aries
Typical sheep, ewe'll follow any fashion and fad. Boring! Get yourself some individualism and make yourself INTERESTING. Don't lay out cash though because on this image change, you'll be fleeced
Lucky Fruit: Kumquat
Taurus
As your sign suggests, you are constantly horny, although full of bull. Rather than being gored, people are bored of you. If you carry on in this vein, the only ring you are likely to see is the one in your nose
Lucky Color: Puse
Gemini
Two of everything, which makes you both a freak and a great shag. If you are on the cusp, see your local pharmacist.
Lucky Proverb: One in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Cancer
Sexually transmitted diseases are obviously your forte. Crabby by nature in your personality and your groined region, you have very little going for you. Nobody likes a loser, so give it up and make our lives a little brighter.
Lucky Environmental Disaster: The Amoco Cadiz
Leo
The outer planets feature heavily in your spread this month, causing many complex influences. Send for my free pamphlet detailing the conjunctions of these planets, it'll teach you how to look up Uranus.
Lucky Therapy: Aversion
Virgo
If you are a young, slim and handsome female Virgo, please leave your personal details with the Administrator of this forum. I will contact you shortly.
Lucky Atomic Weight: 14
Libra
People think you have the ability to weigh up both sides of an argument, to look all round a problem before hitting on the exact solution. Rubbish! You are lazy and hate making any effort at all. If you strike the right answer it's purely by luck. My advice is to spend your life waiting to die, but then you will already have decided that takes the least effort of all.
Lucky Koala: Australian
Scorpio
Balding, shiny plated Scorpios! Chamios leathers and polish are both down in price. Splash out a few bob and get buffing. You've nothing else going for you so dazzle them with this head shine!
Lucky Margarine: Flora
Sagittarius
This month you are great. You are wonderful. You can't put a step wrong. Money prospects are brilliant. Job prospects are fantastic. Everyone loves you. Unfortunately, everyone you sleep with will be hideously ugly and malformed, and will undoubtedly carry many sundry diseases. Tuff! You can't have everything.
Lucky Pencil: Schaeffer Featherlike H
Capricorn
Love is in the air. The bluebird is winging your way. Enamored of a certain someone in your life, your whole heart is lost to them. They think you're a little tyke. You are going to be sunk in depression for at least the next year, lonely with yawning emptiness inside you and you will never be truly happy again. However, the prospects for a successful suicide bid are great for this summer.
Lucky Wine: Chateau Bottled Albanian Burgundy
Aquarius
The incontinent Aquarian has a single bed with rubber sheets. I know for a fact there is someone out there for you.
Lucky Drill Bit: No. 6
Pisces
You smell bad and have scaly skin. So although you are a great swimmer, you'll be doing it alone. Ditto for sex. Use sell tape to pick up your old skin flakes from the carpet, soak them in moisturizer and smear them back onto your body.
Lucky Complex: Oedipal
Typical sheep, ewe'll follow any fashion and fad. Boring! Get yourself some individualism and make yourself INTERESTING. Don't lay out cash though because on this image change, you'll be fleeced
Lucky Fruit: Kumquat
Taurus
As your sign suggests, you are constantly horny, although full of bull. Rather than being gored, people are bored of you. If you carry on in this vein, the only ring you are likely to see is the one in your nose
Lucky Color: Puse
Gemini
Two of everything, which makes you both a freak and a great shag. If you are on the cusp, see your local pharmacist.
Lucky Proverb: One in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Cancer
Sexually transmitted diseases are obviously your forte. Crabby by nature in your personality and your groined region, you have very little going for you. Nobody likes a loser, so give it up and make our lives a little brighter.
Lucky Environmental Disaster: The Amoco Cadiz
Leo
The outer planets feature heavily in your spread this month, causing many complex influences. Send for my free pamphlet detailing the conjunctions of these planets, it'll teach you how to look up Uranus.
Lucky Therapy: Aversion
Virgo
If you are a young, slim and handsome female Virgo, please leave your personal details with the Administrator of this forum. I will contact you shortly.
Lucky Atomic Weight: 14
Libra
People think you have the ability to weigh up both sides of an argument, to look all round a problem before hitting on the exact solution. Rubbish! You are lazy and hate making any effort at all. If you strike the right answer it's purely by luck. My advice is to spend your life waiting to die, but then you will already have decided that takes the least effort of all.
Lucky Koala: Australian
Scorpio
Balding, shiny plated Scorpios! Chamios leathers and polish are both down in price. Splash out a few bob and get buffing. You've nothing else going for you so dazzle them with this head shine!
Lucky Margarine: Flora
Sagittarius
This month you are great. You are wonderful. You can't put a step wrong. Money prospects are brilliant. Job prospects are fantastic. Everyone loves you. Unfortunately, everyone you sleep with will be hideously ugly and malformed, and will undoubtedly carry many sundry diseases. Tuff! You can't have everything.
Lucky Pencil: Schaeffer Featherlike H
Capricorn
Love is in the air. The bluebird is winging your way. Enamored of a certain someone in your life, your whole heart is lost to them. They think you're a little tyke. You are going to be sunk in depression for at least the next year, lonely with yawning emptiness inside you and you will never be truly happy again. However, the prospects for a successful suicide bid are great for this summer.
Lucky Wine: Chateau Bottled Albanian Burgundy
Aquarius
The incontinent Aquarian has a single bed with rubber sheets. I know for a fact there is someone out there for you.
Lucky Drill Bit: No. 6
Pisces
You smell bad and have scaly skin. So although you are a great swimmer, you'll be doing it alone. Ditto for sex. Use sell tape to pick up your old skin flakes from the carpet, soak them in moisturizer and smear them back onto your body.
Lucky Complex: Oedipal