Mr. Pitiful
10-14-2004, 11:31 PM
Aries (March 21 - April 19) Excellent day to solve crossword puzzles while horse back riding. Hey! We all need some adventure in our life’s. Just don’t send the hospital bill to me.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will spend the day attempting to rest, but whenever you fall asleep you'll return to the same nightmare of being a mouse and being chased by five cats, and will wake, screaming (in a very high-pitched, squeaking, and annoying sort of way).
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Excellent day to stick your tongue out and flick people as they drive by. Avoid mean looking burly men, however.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Your next fortune cookie will say "See? We told you it tasted like chicken!"
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will be watched by owls. It's nothing really worth worrying about, I'm sure. Did you know that you've started making little unconscious "squeaks" when you're concentrating on something?
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will discover that you can wiggle your ears and nose at the same time today, and will actually become quite good at it. People will invite you to parties, and be the star attraction.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Excellent day to blow soap bubbles in unusual places and also from unusual places too. See if you can get them to drift by people who are thinking too hard.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Remember: One tiddles one's winks, not vice versa. Winking one's tiddles would be crude, and is illegal in some states.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Some strange "hooting" creature will hide in your bushes today. You should be able to drive it off by whacking the bushes soundly with a kitchen broom. Ouch!!
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will be in an extremely stuffy meeting today, which will seem to last forever. You will be able to liven things up a smidge by putting a few small feathers in your hand, and then "coughing" them out.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today one or more close relations will pout. You will stoicly endure this, and will steadfastly refuse to relinquish control of the remote control.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Today you will fall asleep, and dream you are making passionate and forbidden love with your favorite and ultimate movie star. Unfortunately you will wake up and find your pet puppy Fido, licking your face. It was nice while it lasted.
:D
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will spend the day attempting to rest, but whenever you fall asleep you'll return to the same nightmare of being a mouse and being chased by five cats, and will wake, screaming (in a very high-pitched, squeaking, and annoying sort of way).
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Excellent day to stick your tongue out and flick people as they drive by. Avoid mean looking burly men, however.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Your next fortune cookie will say "See? We told you it tasted like chicken!"
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will be watched by owls. It's nothing really worth worrying about, I'm sure. Did you know that you've started making little unconscious "squeaks" when you're concentrating on something?
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will discover that you can wiggle your ears and nose at the same time today, and will actually become quite good at it. People will invite you to parties, and be the star attraction.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Excellent day to blow soap bubbles in unusual places and also from unusual places too. See if you can get them to drift by people who are thinking too hard.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Remember: One tiddles one's winks, not vice versa. Winking one's tiddles would be crude, and is illegal in some states.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Some strange "hooting" creature will hide in your bushes today. You should be able to drive it off by whacking the bushes soundly with a kitchen broom. Ouch!!
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will be in an extremely stuffy meeting today, which will seem to last forever. You will be able to liven things up a smidge by putting a few small feathers in your hand, and then "coughing" them out.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today one or more close relations will pout. You will stoicly endure this, and will steadfastly refuse to relinquish control of the remote control.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Today you will fall asleep, and dream you are making passionate and forbidden love with your favorite and ultimate movie star. Unfortunately you will wake up and find your pet puppy Fido, licking your face. It was nice while it lasted.
:D