Mr. Pitiful
10-18-2004, 02:00 AM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
This is an excellent day to dare. Dare to eat a peach. Dare to wear your trousers rolled, and walk along the beach. Let people see you as a freedom child. The beach and you as one, You will be known as Son of the Beach or just Dare to be different. That sort of thing.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
After today the following expression will no longer strike you as being in the least bit amusing: "Friends help friends move. Real friends help friends move bodies."
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today you will be seized by inspiration, and shaken like a rat in the jaws of a terrier. You will wax poetic, assuming that "poetic" is the name of your car.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Excellent day for a bubble bath. If you don't have a little yellow rubber duckie, you'll need to get that first, of course.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Time to throw down the gauntlet. Or, if you can't find a gauntlet, a ski mitten will do. Just make sure you throw it down. (That's one heck of a lot more fun than throwing it up.)
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
In a stroke of pure marketing genious, you will start a company to sell fresh-roasted peanut butter door-to-door. Your sales people may find the peanut costumes a bit uncomfortable, at first, however.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You are about to scare several people out of their socks! It will turn out that they have very ugly feet.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will be struck by the notion that "Life is like one of those little cars that the Shriners get to drive." You have a mind of great depth and profundity.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will be followed by people who look suspiciously like shoe salesmen. Try to remain calm -- they can sense fear.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will decide to write a letter to the editor. "Who is this 'Al Ninyo' guy," you'll say, "and why don't they just lock him up?"
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will see an ancient symbol appearing in the whorls of your fingerprints. That, combined with the dreams of apocalypse may make you worry. I wouldn't though -- it's just a vitamin B12 deficiency.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Today the universe will stop expanding, and start contracting. You will be the only one who notices. Also, you will develop a strange desire to wear golf shoes.
:D
Have a Happy and Great Monday!!
This is an excellent day to dare. Dare to eat a peach. Dare to wear your trousers rolled, and walk along the beach. Let people see you as a freedom child. The beach and you as one, You will be known as Son of the Beach or just Dare to be different. That sort of thing.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
After today the following expression will no longer strike you as being in the least bit amusing: "Friends help friends move. Real friends help friends move bodies."
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today you will be seized by inspiration, and shaken like a rat in the jaws of a terrier. You will wax poetic, assuming that "poetic" is the name of your car.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Excellent day for a bubble bath. If you don't have a little yellow rubber duckie, you'll need to get that first, of course.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Time to throw down the gauntlet. Or, if you can't find a gauntlet, a ski mitten will do. Just make sure you throw it down. (That's one heck of a lot more fun than throwing it up.)
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
In a stroke of pure marketing genious, you will start a company to sell fresh-roasted peanut butter door-to-door. Your sales people may find the peanut costumes a bit uncomfortable, at first, however.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You are about to scare several people out of their socks! It will turn out that they have very ugly feet.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will be struck by the notion that "Life is like one of those little cars that the Shriners get to drive." You have a mind of great depth and profundity.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will be followed by people who look suspiciously like shoe salesmen. Try to remain calm -- they can sense fear.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will decide to write a letter to the editor. "Who is this 'Al Ninyo' guy," you'll say, "and why don't they just lock him up?"
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will see an ancient symbol appearing in the whorls of your fingerprints. That, combined with the dreams of apocalypse may make you worry. I wouldn't though -- it's just a vitamin B12 deficiency.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Today the universe will stop expanding, and start contracting. You will be the only one who notices. Also, you will develop a strange desire to wear golf shoes.
:D
Have a Happy and Great Monday!!