Mr. Pitiful
10-18-2004, 03:11 AM
Dumb Lawsuit" Bonehead Award
After a McKeesport, Pennsylvania, man’s lawsuits against his former employer were dismissed as frivolous, he filed a lawsuit against God for failing to take action against the "leaders of his Church and Nation and their extremely serious wrongs, which ruined his life."
He asked for "the return of his youth, the ability to play the guitar, the resurrection of both his pet pigeon Drusky and his mother."
How did he expect to win?
He said that he figured God would not show up at court so he’d win by default.
:D
Are We Not Communicating?
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"
Only in America
. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Use less facts
Two out of three people sleep on their sides, and they're about equally divided as to WHICH side. Of the remainder, slightly more sleep on their stomachs than sleep on their backs.
Forty percent of American adults cannot fill out a bank deposit slip correctly.
A survey finds that a quarter of all people who take a briefcase or something similar to work with them have got SOMETHING in it for self-defense.
Paranormal experts say people reach the peak of their ability to see ghosts when they're 7 years old.
Someone on Earth reports seeing a UFO every three minutes. In the U.S., reported sightings are most likely to occur in July, at 9 p.m. or 3 a.m.
Someone within 200 miles of your town claims to have had direct contact with a monster, ghost or other unexplainable being.
Now you know
After a McKeesport, Pennsylvania, man’s lawsuits against his former employer were dismissed as frivolous, he filed a lawsuit against God for failing to take action against the "leaders of his Church and Nation and their extremely serious wrongs, which ruined his life."
He asked for "the return of his youth, the ability to play the guitar, the resurrection of both his pet pigeon Drusky and his mother."
How did he expect to win?
He said that he figured God would not show up at court so he’d win by default.
:D
Are We Not Communicating?
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"
Only in America
. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Use less facts
Two out of three people sleep on their sides, and they're about equally divided as to WHICH side. Of the remainder, slightly more sleep on their stomachs than sleep on their backs.
Forty percent of American adults cannot fill out a bank deposit slip correctly.
A survey finds that a quarter of all people who take a briefcase or something similar to work with them have got SOMETHING in it for self-defense.
Paranormal experts say people reach the peak of their ability to see ghosts when they're 7 years old.
Someone on Earth reports seeing a UFO every three minutes. In the U.S., reported sightings are most likely to occur in July, at 9 p.m. or 3 a.m.
Someone within 200 miles of your town claims to have had direct contact with a monster, ghost or other unexplainable being.
Now you know