Mr. Pitiful
10-21-2004, 11:12 PM
Aries(March 21 - April 19)
You will contemplate nothingness today, but somethingness will keep intruding upon your thoughts.
Taurus(April 20 - May 20)
You're about to spend a considerable amount of time with someone who personifies "dour." The kind of person who never once clapped for Tinkerbell, even as a child. Just ignore them, if you can. If you can't ignore them, pretend they are a duck.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You will be "on the move", soon. Especially movements of a gastrointestinal nature, as it turns out. Good day to stay close to home.
Cancer(June 21 - July 22)
Today you can have lots of fun by beaming at people, and telling them how fresh your brand of soap makes you feel. If that doesn't work, try explaining how your detergent gets your shirts their brightest.
Leo(July 23 - August 22)
Good day to get into the groove. Be groovy. Try saying that out loud. Go on... groovy groovy groovy! Oh yeah! Tomorrow: being hep-cat-daddy-o.
Virgo(August 23 - September 22)
Today you will be "mooned" by a cat. Fortunately, you won't notice.
Libra(September 22 - October 22)
Today you will order the dinner "special" at a restaurant. You will regret this, however. Why? Okra.
Scorpio(October 23 - November 21)
Today you will discover Pablo Picasso's secret. He didn't deliberately invent cubist art. He just liked painting accident victims.
Sagittarius(November 22 - December 21)
Bad day to call someone a "whiney gen-x cybercowboy." Tomorrow's better, for that one.
Capricorn(December 22 - January 20)
Relationships are a lot like tables. One leg is love, one is trust, one is shared pleasures, and one is shared dreams. Lasting relationships need all four legs for balance, to hold up the burden of your troubles. In your case, though, you'll never get rid of that irritating wobble.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today you will discover that you are capable of "channelling", when you start spouting ancient sumerian curses at a short little dweeb who cuts you off in traffic. You will start taking notes in cuneiform.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
If you've been wanting to become a religious leader, today is the day to get cracking on it. Otherwise, probably an uneventful day.
:D
You will contemplate nothingness today, but somethingness will keep intruding upon your thoughts.
Taurus(April 20 - May 20)
You're about to spend a considerable amount of time with someone who personifies "dour." The kind of person who never once clapped for Tinkerbell, even as a child. Just ignore them, if you can. If you can't ignore them, pretend they are a duck.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You will be "on the move", soon. Especially movements of a gastrointestinal nature, as it turns out. Good day to stay close to home.
Cancer(June 21 - July 22)
Today you can have lots of fun by beaming at people, and telling them how fresh your brand of soap makes you feel. If that doesn't work, try explaining how your detergent gets your shirts their brightest.
Leo(July 23 - August 22)
Good day to get into the groove. Be groovy. Try saying that out loud. Go on... groovy groovy groovy! Oh yeah! Tomorrow: being hep-cat-daddy-o.
Virgo(August 23 - September 22)
Today you will be "mooned" by a cat. Fortunately, you won't notice.
Libra(September 22 - October 22)
Today you will order the dinner "special" at a restaurant. You will regret this, however. Why? Okra.
Scorpio(October 23 - November 21)
Today you will discover Pablo Picasso's secret. He didn't deliberately invent cubist art. He just liked painting accident victims.
Sagittarius(November 22 - December 21)
Bad day to call someone a "whiney gen-x cybercowboy." Tomorrow's better, for that one.
Capricorn(December 22 - January 20)
Relationships are a lot like tables. One leg is love, one is trust, one is shared pleasures, and one is shared dreams. Lasting relationships need all four legs for balance, to hold up the burden of your troubles. In your case, though, you'll never get rid of that irritating wobble.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today you will discover that you are capable of "channelling", when you start spouting ancient sumerian curses at a short little dweeb who cuts you off in traffic. You will start taking notes in cuneiform.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
If you've been wanting to become a religious leader, today is the day to get cracking on it. Otherwise, probably an uneventful day.
:D