Mr. Pitiful
10-27-2004, 01:15 AM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will become embroiled in a serious dispute about food. Feelings will be hurt. Bygones will eventually be bygones, but not until you ease off on the Tabasco.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Remember that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Normally that's not a big deal, but since your accounting department just changed its name to "The Mongol Horde", you might take notice.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Don't you owe someone a thank-you note? If not, send one anyway -- that's always fun.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Good day to learn to do more with your toes. Start off by tying knots with them, and who knows? You could end up being able to accompany yourself on the piano!
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Excellent day to act childish. For example, when's the last time you ordered a drink with a straw, and blew bubbles in it? Or you could pout, if you want. (Be sure to go for good lip extension, though).
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will casually mention the German term for "exit ramp", and bring a conversation to a rapid close. That's hardly your fault, though, is it?
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You are always running out of things to say, at dinner. Try memorizing a whole lot of facts about commercial fish farming -- that's always a good topic for discussion.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Stay home today, with the curtains drawn and the door locked. Trust me on this one.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will narrowly avoid a collision on the sidewalk today, as a small giggling person runs past you, being hotly pursued by a weeping incoherent person waving a ham sandwich. Aside from that, a pretty typical day.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Soon you will start work on a mystery novel, "The Curse Of The Mummy's Nose", told from the point of view of your cat, Erik.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Boisterous day, today. Try not to be much more irritating than is absolutely necessary.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will discover that you've always had the power to go home, simply by tapping the heels of your bunny slippers together. Unfortunately, as you will also soon discover, it's not your home.
You will become embroiled in a serious dispute about food. Feelings will be hurt. Bygones will eventually be bygones, but not until you ease off on the Tabasco.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Remember that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Normally that's not a big deal, but since your accounting department just changed its name to "The Mongol Horde", you might take notice.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Don't you owe someone a thank-you note? If not, send one anyway -- that's always fun.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Good day to learn to do more with your toes. Start off by tying knots with them, and who knows? You could end up being able to accompany yourself on the piano!
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Excellent day to act childish. For example, when's the last time you ordered a drink with a straw, and blew bubbles in it? Or you could pout, if you want. (Be sure to go for good lip extension, though).
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will casually mention the German term for "exit ramp", and bring a conversation to a rapid close. That's hardly your fault, though, is it?
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You are always running out of things to say, at dinner. Try memorizing a whole lot of facts about commercial fish farming -- that's always a good topic for discussion.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Stay home today, with the curtains drawn and the door locked. Trust me on this one.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will narrowly avoid a collision on the sidewalk today, as a small giggling person runs past you, being hotly pursued by a weeping incoherent person waving a ham sandwich. Aside from that, a pretty typical day.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Soon you will start work on a mystery novel, "The Curse Of The Mummy's Nose", told from the point of view of your cat, Erik.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Boisterous day, today. Try not to be much more irritating than is absolutely necessary.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will discover that you've always had the power to go home, simply by tapping the heels of your bunny slippers together. Unfortunately, as you will also soon discover, it's not your home.