Mr. Pitiful
11-01-2004, 08:35 AM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will have left-over lasagna for lunch. This is odd, because you don't remember the lasagna being made in the first place. Just one of those little mysteries that haunts you in life.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will have a hunch, today. Perhaps you should try a firmer mattress?
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good day to act extremely childish.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You must seize the opportunity that presents itself today, no matter what the consequences may be. Remember: opportunity knocks but once, and absolutely refuses to ring the doorbell.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
That bad smell in the closet will get stronger. Time to investigate.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Inspiration will strike you, and leave you for dead. The police will do nothing.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Your morning grumpiness and sluggishness will vanish soon, when you discover that the problem was just using the wrong type of deodorant soap. Soon you'll be stepping out of the shower, grinning like an imbecile!
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Tomorrow is a good day to wear your lucky Rocketship underwear. Try not to leap into rooms while shouting "Hark!" however.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Good day to work on your catapult. You never know when it could come in handy. Besides, it's good to worry your neighbors a bit -- keeps them civil.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Today you will watch something like a hawk. Basically, you do that by having unblinking beady little eyes, and a brain the size of a peanut.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
As a joke, you will send off a resume for your dog to a company which wants to hire an extrusion manager. Surprisingly, he will not only get the job, but will earn more than you.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will realise soon that you've missed your true calling in life -- that of a New Vaudevillian, a theatrical marvel of the Age of Cable. Starting as "Professor Snibble and the Yodelling Pigs!", you'll rapidly achieve notoriety, and (much later, with a different act) respectability.
Have a Great Monday
:D
You will have left-over lasagna for lunch. This is odd, because you don't remember the lasagna being made in the first place. Just one of those little mysteries that haunts you in life.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will have a hunch, today. Perhaps you should try a firmer mattress?
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good day to act extremely childish.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You must seize the opportunity that presents itself today, no matter what the consequences may be. Remember: opportunity knocks but once, and absolutely refuses to ring the doorbell.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
That bad smell in the closet will get stronger. Time to investigate.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Inspiration will strike you, and leave you for dead. The police will do nothing.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Your morning grumpiness and sluggishness will vanish soon, when you discover that the problem was just using the wrong type of deodorant soap. Soon you'll be stepping out of the shower, grinning like an imbecile!
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Tomorrow is a good day to wear your lucky Rocketship underwear. Try not to leap into rooms while shouting "Hark!" however.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Good day to work on your catapult. You never know when it could come in handy. Besides, it's good to worry your neighbors a bit -- keeps them civil.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Today you will watch something like a hawk. Basically, you do that by having unblinking beady little eyes, and a brain the size of a peanut.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
As a joke, you will send off a resume for your dog to a company which wants to hire an extrusion manager. Surprisingly, he will not only get the job, but will earn more than you.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will realise soon that you've missed your true calling in life -- that of a New Vaudevillian, a theatrical marvel of the Age of Cable. Starting as "Professor Snibble and the Yodelling Pigs!", you'll rapidly achieve notoriety, and (much later, with a different act) respectability.
Have a Great Monday
:D