Mr. Pitiful
11-08-2004, 11:55 PM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Someone who you really dislike, who is arrogance personified...will be nice to you. This is a good time to be afraid.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Someone will ask you what you want to do this weekend. That may seem like a good time to say "What am I, psychic?" It's not, though.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
When you were young, your heart was an open book. You used to say "live and let live." But if this ever-changing world, which we live in, makes you give it a miss, say "live and let die." Or something.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will make pizza from scratch today (dough and everything), and will beam with pride. As well you should.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
This may be a good time to take up squid farming. Provided that you can figure out what type of hat to wear, that is.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Everyone around you will develop a strange fascination with Vlad The Impaler. This could be bad news.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
A man with a large nose will attack you with a sword today, while composing free verse in archaic French. Luckily, he'll get stuck trying to come up with a word that rhymes with "l'orange", and you'll have time to slip out the back way.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will flip a coin 4 times, and it will come up "heads", "tails", "heads", "heads." Then someone will come up and say "hey, whatcha doing?" Then the phone will ring. Just a coincidence, though, in this case.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Someone will drone on and on, today. Try using psychic powers to make their underwear ride up. Even if it doesn't work, your look of intense concentration may make them self-conscious.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will receive an honor from a foreign dignitary today. Everyone else will be horribly jealous of you.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Confucious said "Choose a job you love, and you'll never work a day in your life." Confucious was a Harvard man, you know, with a huge trust fund. He certainly never "worked" a day, himself. I wouldn't take what he said too literally, in your case.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Thrombosis. Beware. Also, your best friend will rush up and indicate by nonverbal means that Timmy is trapped under a log again.
:D
Someone who you really dislike, who is arrogance personified...will be nice to you. This is a good time to be afraid.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Someone will ask you what you want to do this weekend. That may seem like a good time to say "What am I, psychic?" It's not, though.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
When you were young, your heart was an open book. You used to say "live and let live." But if this ever-changing world, which we live in, makes you give it a miss, say "live and let die." Or something.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will make pizza from scratch today (dough and everything), and will beam with pride. As well you should.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
This may be a good time to take up squid farming. Provided that you can figure out what type of hat to wear, that is.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Everyone around you will develop a strange fascination with Vlad The Impaler. This could be bad news.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
A man with a large nose will attack you with a sword today, while composing free verse in archaic French. Luckily, he'll get stuck trying to come up with a word that rhymes with "l'orange", and you'll have time to slip out the back way.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will flip a coin 4 times, and it will come up "heads", "tails", "heads", "heads." Then someone will come up and say "hey, whatcha doing?" Then the phone will ring. Just a coincidence, though, in this case.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Someone will drone on and on, today. Try using psychic powers to make their underwear ride up. Even if it doesn't work, your look of intense concentration may make them self-conscious.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will receive an honor from a foreign dignitary today. Everyone else will be horribly jealous of you.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Confucious said "Choose a job you love, and you'll never work a day in your life." Confucious was a Harvard man, you know, with a huge trust fund. He certainly never "worked" a day, himself. I wouldn't take what he said too literally, in your case.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Thrombosis. Beware. Also, your best friend will rush up and indicate by nonverbal means that Timmy is trapped under a log again.
:D