Mr. Pitiful
08-24-2004, 03:03 PM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to make a call from a pay-phone in a busy place, and say (in a loud voice) "You dumped the body WHERE?".
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will meet someone who you haven't seen in a long time, and will barely recognize them. At least not without the spiked collar and the whip.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good day to go out and play in the mud. Or at least, find some way of making squishy sounds.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Good day to act sneaky. Try glancing sidelong at people, or standing just out of sight.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will spend today in a state of mild anxiety. Probably Ohio.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Through a casual remark in an elevator, you will realise that both you and your fellow passenger have seen John Cleese's informational film called How To Irritate People. By the time you reach the 10th floor, you will both be severely vexed with one another.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Bad hair day today. In fact, it's quite likely that your hair will actually be arrested.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will pass a sign that says "invorp" today. Fortunately, you will remember enough Dutch to know that it means "put your fingers in your ears and wiggle them". They are a silly people, the Dutch.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will attempt to capitalize on the success of SPAM by inventing SPEEF. Unfortunately, you would have been much better off trying to make SPICKEN, instead.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Time to stop beating around the bush. Beat the bush itself. Give it a good thrashing, and say "bad bush!" in a loud stern tone.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Happy Frog Day!! Let's hear it for our little amphibious friends!
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will discover, today, that you can whistle and hum at the same time. This will entertain you for hours.
:D
Good day to make a call from a pay-phone in a busy place, and say (in a loud voice) "You dumped the body WHERE?".
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will meet someone who you haven't seen in a long time, and will barely recognize them. At least not without the spiked collar and the whip.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good day to go out and play in the mud. Or at least, find some way of making squishy sounds.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Good day to act sneaky. Try glancing sidelong at people, or standing just out of sight.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will spend today in a state of mild anxiety. Probably Ohio.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Through a casual remark in an elevator, you will realise that both you and your fellow passenger have seen John Cleese's informational film called How To Irritate People. By the time you reach the 10th floor, you will both be severely vexed with one another.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Bad hair day today. In fact, it's quite likely that your hair will actually be arrested.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will pass a sign that says "invorp" today. Fortunately, you will remember enough Dutch to know that it means "put your fingers in your ears and wiggle them". They are a silly people, the Dutch.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will attempt to capitalize on the success of SPAM by inventing SPEEF. Unfortunately, you would have been much better off trying to make SPICKEN, instead.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Time to stop beating around the bush. Beat the bush itself. Give it a good thrashing, and say "bad bush!" in a loud stern tone.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Happy Frog Day!! Let's hear it for our little amphibious friends!
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will discover, today, that you can whistle and hum at the same time. This will entertain you for hours.
:D