frodar
11-26-2004, 06:48 PM
Happy Thanksgiving ......Here are a few funnies.....
Things you CAN say at Thanksgiving and get away with!
1: Talk about a huge breast!
2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3: It's Cool Whip time!
4: If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5: Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6: I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7: Are you ready for seconds yet?
8: It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9: Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10: Don't play with your meat.
11: Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12: Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13: I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14: You still have a little bit on your chin.
15: How long will it take after you stick it in?
16: You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17: Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18: That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19: How long do I beat it before it's ready?
Signs You've Eaten Too Much
Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.
Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.
You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.
Right this minute you're laughing up pie on the carpet.
You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid-July.
World's fattest man sends you a telegram, warning you to "back off!"
CBS tells you to lose weight or else.
Getting off your couch requires help from the fire department.
Every escalator you step on immediately grinds to a halt.
You're sweatin' gravy.
Things you CAN say at Thanksgiving and get away with!
1: Talk about a huge breast!
2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3: It's Cool Whip time!
4: If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5: Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6: I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7: Are you ready for seconds yet?
8: It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9: Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10: Don't play with your meat.
11: Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12: Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13: I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14: You still have a little bit on your chin.
15: How long will it take after you stick it in?
16: You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17: Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18: That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19: How long do I beat it before it's ready?
Signs You've Eaten Too Much
Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.
Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.
You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.
Right this minute you're laughing up pie on the carpet.
You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid-July.
World's fattest man sends you a telegram, warning you to "back off!"
CBS tells you to lose weight or else.
Getting off your couch requires help from the fire department.
Every escalator you step on immediately grinds to a halt.
You're sweatin' gravy.