Mr. Pitiful
04-01-2005, 01:38 AM
Aries
Starving does not help you lose weight. In fact, it can be very detrimental to your health. You ask any dead person and they'll say; "Yep, that's right, I'm very thin", All the email in the world won't make up for the fact that you are socially retarded.
Taurus
You can't star in your own television show if you're a no-talented idiot. Just something to keep in mind--no particular reference to you. Hope can solve nearly all of your problems today. Until tomorrow when all of your dreams will be dashed to pieces.
Gemini
Weeks are made to find new ways of entertaining yourself during boredom. Make sure your weekend reflects this happier time. Change is always for the good, ask any transsexual.
Cancer
Tailors and Bodybuilders may have a surprise in store for you this week. Also keep on the lookout for butch hairdressers. It all used to be so easier, but with age you're finding certain things much more difficult.
Leo
Everything you have to fear comes from within. You should have chosen the Korma instead of the vindaloo.
Virgo
Taking a bit-part in a local theatre production may help you get out and start living a lie. The media will try to control your life today. Many congratulations! Until the time comes where you are able to do something about it, defer all your anger to the television shows you waste your life watching.
Libra
Being mean is what makes bullies happy- don't make them have to be unhappy. Imagine what the mean spirited little twats would do then. The loony-left is a phrase that you quite like.
Scorpio
Your ideals are starting to shape the way you're living, so congratulations.
Sagittarius
The stars predict rocky times for you and a loved one. Avoid making love in cramped places. Opening up to a close friend will probably be the worst thing you could do, in your situation. Careful how you handle yourself today others may be more tense than usual.
Crapicorn
The latin phrase for what you're feeling right now is; "Non semper inquisit damascus arooooo!" There's a little bit of dog language mixed in there too. The only conspiracy theory you need to worry about is the one that involves you. You knew about that conspiracy, right? Oh...dear...God. Dead clowns will try to follow you home.
Aquarius
You may be left to pick up the pieces of someone else's failures today.
Pisces
Tomorrow, when you consider how it could have been, today is going to seem pretty damned swell. Correlating facts is an awesome responsibility. Are you sure you're up to it?
Later dudes and dudats.
:)
Starving does not help you lose weight. In fact, it can be very detrimental to your health. You ask any dead person and they'll say; "Yep, that's right, I'm very thin", All the email in the world won't make up for the fact that you are socially retarded.
Taurus
You can't star in your own television show if you're a no-talented idiot. Just something to keep in mind--no particular reference to you. Hope can solve nearly all of your problems today. Until tomorrow when all of your dreams will be dashed to pieces.
Gemini
Weeks are made to find new ways of entertaining yourself during boredom. Make sure your weekend reflects this happier time. Change is always for the good, ask any transsexual.
Cancer
Tailors and Bodybuilders may have a surprise in store for you this week. Also keep on the lookout for butch hairdressers. It all used to be so easier, but with age you're finding certain things much more difficult.
Leo
Everything you have to fear comes from within. You should have chosen the Korma instead of the vindaloo.
Virgo
Taking a bit-part in a local theatre production may help you get out and start living a lie. The media will try to control your life today. Many congratulations! Until the time comes where you are able to do something about it, defer all your anger to the television shows you waste your life watching.
Libra
Being mean is what makes bullies happy- don't make them have to be unhappy. Imagine what the mean spirited little twats would do then. The loony-left is a phrase that you quite like.
Scorpio
Your ideals are starting to shape the way you're living, so congratulations.
Sagittarius
The stars predict rocky times for you and a loved one. Avoid making love in cramped places. Opening up to a close friend will probably be the worst thing you could do, in your situation. Careful how you handle yourself today others may be more tense than usual.
Crapicorn
The latin phrase for what you're feeling right now is; "Non semper inquisit damascus arooooo!" There's a little bit of dog language mixed in there too. The only conspiracy theory you need to worry about is the one that involves you. You knew about that conspiracy, right? Oh...dear...God. Dead clowns will try to follow you home.
Aquarius
You may be left to pick up the pieces of someone else's failures today.
Pisces
Tomorrow, when you consider how it could have been, today is going to seem pretty damned swell. Correlating facts is an awesome responsibility. Are you sure you're up to it?
Later dudes and dudats.
:)