Mr. Pitiful
04-03-2005, 01:48 AM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will find yourself using a very old spreadsheet program, soon. So old, in fact, that the columns have to be either Doric, Ionic, or Corinthian.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will hear a mysterious "whapping" sound as you are passing by a church today. Curiosity will get the better of you, and you will peek inside. To your relief you will discover it's only the nuns, playing a quick game of dodge-ball.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Tomorrow is a good day to wear your lucky Rocketship underwear. Try not to leap into rooms while shouting "Hark!" however.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will realize that your biggest problem is indecisiveness. Or possibly procrastination. Tomorrow may be a better day to figure out which.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Good day to remember your kinship with all living things. Except perhaps mildew. There's no point in remembering your kinship with mildew, at least not today.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
A very pale young woman weilding a broadsword will approach you today to ask if you'd like your carnations pruned. Be nice and say yes. Reincarnation is tough on some people.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
The bad news is, you're competing for that new job with a Hindu goddess. The good news is, if you think YOU have trouble figuring out what to do with your hands during an interview...
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Someone will tell you that you "run funny." Just ignore them. (And be very glad they didn't see you throwing a baseball.)
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Another one of those excrutiatingly boring meetings today. Try to liven things up by summoning one of the people back from the dead.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will become unwittingly embroiled in a turf war between rival Chinese restaurants, today, as you step off the sidewalk to avoid a person wearing an extremely large hat. Before the day is over, you'll find yourself angrily hurling potstickers at people you've never met.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will be overly impressed by a commercial for a golf club, which describes it as a "weapon of incredible range and power." You will make people nervous by referring to your pencil as "a weapon of incredible pointyness and surprise."
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will decide to go into the swimwear market, and will become famous by making things out of stainless steel.
:)
You will find yourself using a very old spreadsheet program, soon. So old, in fact, that the columns have to be either Doric, Ionic, or Corinthian.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will hear a mysterious "whapping" sound as you are passing by a church today. Curiosity will get the better of you, and you will peek inside. To your relief you will discover it's only the nuns, playing a quick game of dodge-ball.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Tomorrow is a good day to wear your lucky Rocketship underwear. Try not to leap into rooms while shouting "Hark!" however.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will realize that your biggest problem is indecisiveness. Or possibly procrastination. Tomorrow may be a better day to figure out which.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Good day to remember your kinship with all living things. Except perhaps mildew. There's no point in remembering your kinship with mildew, at least not today.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
A very pale young woman weilding a broadsword will approach you today to ask if you'd like your carnations pruned. Be nice and say yes. Reincarnation is tough on some people.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
The bad news is, you're competing for that new job with a Hindu goddess. The good news is, if you think YOU have trouble figuring out what to do with your hands during an interview...
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Someone will tell you that you "run funny." Just ignore them. (And be very glad they didn't see you throwing a baseball.)
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Another one of those excrutiatingly boring meetings today. Try to liven things up by summoning one of the people back from the dead.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will become unwittingly embroiled in a turf war between rival Chinese restaurants, today, as you step off the sidewalk to avoid a person wearing an extremely large hat. Before the day is over, you'll find yourself angrily hurling potstickers at people you've never met.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will be overly impressed by a commercial for a golf club, which describes it as a "weapon of incredible range and power." You will make people nervous by referring to your pencil as "a weapon of incredible pointyness and surprise."
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will decide to go into the swimwear market, and will become famous by making things out of stainless steel.
:)