Mr. Pitiful
04-09-2005, 02:01 AM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
What are you looking here, for? You should be on a spaceship, sticking a fish in your ear. It's not like you didn't get enough hints. If you are vaporized, it's your own darned fault, I'd say. Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Someone will dash up to you today, say "meep meep! bthpblthpblthp!", and then dash off. At least now you'll know how to spell it.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You will watch a lot of TV today. But that's ok, if that's really what you want.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Good time to become involved in a secret plot to overthrow someone or something. Personally, I think your best bet is to start small. You can pick up some tips in "Overthrowing Things For Fun And Profit" by Kwan No, M.D., Ph.D.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Excellent day to blow soap bubbles in unusual places. See if you can get them to drift by people who are thinking too hard.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
If you don't start flossing more often, the tooth fairy will be a constant companion. Start taking better care of yourself.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Not a good time to go forth and conquer. Try going fifth, and hover in the background.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
What you mostly need at this point in your life, is a retinue. Either that, or an entourage. The best way to get started is with a simple classified ad - look for "followers, hangers-on, sycophants, or toadies."
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will be able to get out of doing an unpleasant task today, by pretending you are a chicken.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Today you'll suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and believe me, that'll hurt.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
.syas enoyna gniht elgnis a dnatsrednu ot elba eb t'now uoy yadot, ylddO
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Good day to wear tropical fruit on your head.
:D
What are you looking here, for? You should be on a spaceship, sticking a fish in your ear. It's not like you didn't get enough hints. If you are vaporized, it's your own darned fault, I'd say. Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Someone will dash up to you today, say "meep meep! bthpblthpblthp!", and then dash off. At least now you'll know how to spell it.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You will watch a lot of TV today. But that's ok, if that's really what you want.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Good time to become involved in a secret plot to overthrow someone or something. Personally, I think your best bet is to start small. You can pick up some tips in "Overthrowing Things For Fun And Profit" by Kwan No, M.D., Ph.D.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Excellent day to blow soap bubbles in unusual places. See if you can get them to drift by people who are thinking too hard.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
If you don't start flossing more often, the tooth fairy will be a constant companion. Start taking better care of yourself.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Not a good time to go forth and conquer. Try going fifth, and hover in the background.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
What you mostly need at this point in your life, is a retinue. Either that, or an entourage. The best way to get started is with a simple classified ad - look for "followers, hangers-on, sycophants, or toadies."
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will be able to get out of doing an unpleasant task today, by pretending you are a chicken.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Today you'll suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and believe me, that'll hurt.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
.syas enoyna gniht elgnis a dnatsrednu ot elba eb t'now uoy yadot, ylddO
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Good day to wear tropical fruit on your head.
:D