Mr. Pitiful
04-11-2005, 01:09 AM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to start saving up for that electron microscope you've always wanted. I hear Sears will be having a big sale on them this fall.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Excellent day to get involved in one or more conspiracies. If you can hold secret meetings in darkened rooms, so much the better!
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
A rare form of management disease will strike you today, where you can only speak in metaphors. Still, you'll open the kimono and hit the ground running.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will irritate people. In fact, you'll irritate yourself.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Good day to examine your cuticles. If you do that studiously enough, I'm quite sure nobody will realize you're not paying any attention.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Put all your eggs in three baskets, today - metaphorically speaking, of course. You can kiss your first two baskets goodbye.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
It will turn out that all of your life up until now was just a peculiar dream, and that you are actually still only 2 years old. You will find this vaguely irritating.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
This might be a good time to learn how to really "flick" your fingers. You never know when a good flick will be needed. I'm betting it's soon, though, in your case.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
A haunting melody will float through the air this evening, with no apparent source. It will turn out that a renegade oboe player is hiding in the shrubbery.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You are always running out of things to say, at dinner. Try memorizing a whole lot of facts about commercial fish farming -- that's always a good topic for discussion.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
An old flame will call today, and invite you to lunch. It's actually a trick to try to get you involved with AmWay. Also, check page 5 of the newspaper for something you've been waiting for.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
This will be "one of those days", I'm afraid. The person next to you on the bus will have taken one of those nitroglycerin capsules for his heart condition, and will be bending over to pick up a newspaper, just as the bus hits a big pothole
:D
Good day to start saving up for that electron microscope you've always wanted. I hear Sears will be having a big sale on them this fall.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Excellent day to get involved in one or more conspiracies. If you can hold secret meetings in darkened rooms, so much the better!
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
A rare form of management disease will strike you today, where you can only speak in metaphors. Still, you'll open the kimono and hit the ground running.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will irritate people. In fact, you'll irritate yourself.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Good day to examine your cuticles. If you do that studiously enough, I'm quite sure nobody will realize you're not paying any attention.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Put all your eggs in three baskets, today - metaphorically speaking, of course. You can kiss your first two baskets goodbye.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
It will turn out that all of your life up until now was just a peculiar dream, and that you are actually still only 2 years old. You will find this vaguely irritating.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
This might be a good time to learn how to really "flick" your fingers. You never know when a good flick will be needed. I'm betting it's soon, though, in your case.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
A haunting melody will float through the air this evening, with no apparent source. It will turn out that a renegade oboe player is hiding in the shrubbery.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You are always running out of things to say, at dinner. Try memorizing a whole lot of facts about commercial fish farming -- that's always a good topic for discussion.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
An old flame will call today, and invite you to lunch. It's actually a trick to try to get you involved with AmWay. Also, check page 5 of the newspaper for something you've been waiting for.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
This will be "one of those days", I'm afraid. The person next to you on the bus will have taken one of those nitroglycerin capsules for his heart condition, and will be bending over to pick up a newspaper, just as the bus hits a big pothole
:D