Mr. Pitiful
08-29-2004, 07:12 PM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to discuss zoospores (motile usually naked and flagellated asexual spores, especially of an alga or lower fungus) with casual aquaintances. Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Excellent day to make strange mouth noises, particularly in a crowded elevator. Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Try not to be too impulsive, today. Ask youself if you really need that howitzer, or if you just think it'd be fun to have. Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you'll go buy a white jacket, and start working towards your dream: the resurgence of Disco! And you'll be successful, too! Yes, over the course of your life, you'll get literally several people interested. Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Someone will turn a cold shoulder to you, and your feelings will be hurt. You'll get even by turning a tepid elbow to them, later. Just don't let it escalate to the blazing ankles stage, is all. Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today someone sitting near you will make repeated nasal sounds that will eventually drive you screaming from the room. Try to avoid attacking them with a box of kleenex upon re-entering the room. Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You haven't been sleeping well, but that will soon change. You will develop the knack of falling instantly asleep whenever you want to -- either at night, or during boring meetings. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Squid day, again. Try to make the most of it. Perhaps you could go around with a bucket of squid, and give one to each of your neighbors? Chances are you don't know them as well as you should, and this will make sure nobody feels guilty about that in the future. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will rest peacefully, and sink into a strange dream. In the dream, you will be playing an odd version of soccer with huge clear balloons, and people will be cheering you on from the sidelines, who are dressed in white formal attire. Don't go into the light. The extra point isn't worth it. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Today you will put your foot down, regarding your turn at dinner preparation versus dining out. In other words, "if you ain't broke, don't fix it." Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Good day to work on your catapult. You never know when it could come in handy. Besides, it's good to worry your neighbors a bit -- keeps them civil. Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will inherit millions, along with a rather elderly butler named Hodgson. You'll have a nice time.
Good day to discuss zoospores (motile usually naked and flagellated asexual spores, especially of an alga or lower fungus) with casual aquaintances. Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Excellent day to make strange mouth noises, particularly in a crowded elevator. Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Try not to be too impulsive, today. Ask youself if you really need that howitzer, or if you just think it'd be fun to have. Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you'll go buy a white jacket, and start working towards your dream: the resurgence of Disco! And you'll be successful, too! Yes, over the course of your life, you'll get literally several people interested. Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Someone will turn a cold shoulder to you, and your feelings will be hurt. You'll get even by turning a tepid elbow to them, later. Just don't let it escalate to the blazing ankles stage, is all. Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today someone sitting near you will make repeated nasal sounds that will eventually drive you screaming from the room. Try to avoid attacking them with a box of kleenex upon re-entering the room. Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You haven't been sleeping well, but that will soon change. You will develop the knack of falling instantly asleep whenever you want to -- either at night, or during boring meetings. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Squid day, again. Try to make the most of it. Perhaps you could go around with a bucket of squid, and give one to each of your neighbors? Chances are you don't know them as well as you should, and this will make sure nobody feels guilty about that in the future. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will rest peacefully, and sink into a strange dream. In the dream, you will be playing an odd version of soccer with huge clear balloons, and people will be cheering you on from the sidelines, who are dressed in white formal attire. Don't go into the light. The extra point isn't worth it. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Today you will put your foot down, regarding your turn at dinner preparation versus dining out. In other words, "if you ain't broke, don't fix it." Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Good day to work on your catapult. You never know when it could come in handy. Besides, it's good to worry your neighbors a bit -- keeps them civil. Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will inherit millions, along with a rather elderly butler named Hodgson. You'll have a nice time.