Mr. Pitiful
08-27-2005, 09:51 PM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will make a new friend, one of whom will eventually borrow a large sum of money from you, prior to skipping town. What did you say your address was? Try to avoid fatty foods. Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today the universe will stop expanding, and start contracting Just keep pushing he he he. Don't worry you will be the only one who notices. Also, you will develop a strange desire to wear golf shoes. Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Not an especially good day to do anything involving contact cement. At least not if you have plans to go anywhere. Or the things you had in mind...Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
People are starting to take you a bit too seriously. Try wearing your bunny slippers to work. Better yet, moon someone, that always worksLeo (July 23 - August 22)
A very pale young woman weilding a broadsword will approach you today to ask if you'd like your carnations pruned. Be nice and say yes. Reincarnation is tough on some people. I should know.Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Something will start to bother you, and you will eventually have to ask someone to explain it. The thing is, some birds have very acute hearing - so WHERE ARE THEIR EARS?? Nope, wrong place.Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Your butler will return to work today, and pretend as if nothing had happened. It's time for you to compromise, and give up those new argyles. It's for the best, in the long run. And then he will ask you for a raise. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Someone will soon approach you with an idea. Stay well clear of it. It could get you wet. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
This week, you are the bug and everyone else is the really huge shoe. Your objective: don't be noticed. If you do, you won't feel it. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will dream about arrows without points, tonight, and it will have a deeply spiritual significance for you. You won't know what to make of the episode with the lime jello, though. But then, you are a smart cookie, you'll figure it out.Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Thirteen short bearded men will invade your living quarters soon, eat all your food, and drag you off on an ill-advised adventure, much to the amusement of an elderly gentleman of your acquaintance. There were suppose to be seven, but there has been too many applicants.Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Good day to begin writing that book you've been planning -- "Growing Radishes Indoors." It's an idea whose time has come. Last one you wrote is still being on debate.
:p
Today you will make a new friend, one of whom will eventually borrow a large sum of money from you, prior to skipping town. What did you say your address was? Try to avoid fatty foods. Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today the universe will stop expanding, and start contracting Just keep pushing he he he. Don't worry you will be the only one who notices. Also, you will develop a strange desire to wear golf shoes. Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Not an especially good day to do anything involving contact cement. At least not if you have plans to go anywhere. Or the things you had in mind...Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
People are starting to take you a bit too seriously. Try wearing your bunny slippers to work. Better yet, moon someone, that always worksLeo (July 23 - August 22)
A very pale young woman weilding a broadsword will approach you today to ask if you'd like your carnations pruned. Be nice and say yes. Reincarnation is tough on some people. I should know.Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Something will start to bother you, and you will eventually have to ask someone to explain it. The thing is, some birds have very acute hearing - so WHERE ARE THEIR EARS?? Nope, wrong place.Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Your butler will return to work today, and pretend as if nothing had happened. It's time for you to compromise, and give up those new argyles. It's for the best, in the long run. And then he will ask you for a raise. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Someone will soon approach you with an idea. Stay well clear of it. It could get you wet. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
This week, you are the bug and everyone else is the really huge shoe. Your objective: don't be noticed. If you do, you won't feel it. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will dream about arrows without points, tonight, and it will have a deeply spiritual significance for you. You won't know what to make of the episode with the lime jello, though. But then, you are a smart cookie, you'll figure it out.Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Thirteen short bearded men will invade your living quarters soon, eat all your food, and drag you off on an ill-advised adventure, much to the amusement of an elderly gentleman of your acquaintance. There were suppose to be seven, but there has been too many applicants.Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Good day to begin writing that book you've been planning -- "Growing Radishes Indoors." It's an idea whose time has come. Last one you wrote is still being on debate.
:p