Do nice guys really finish last??

[Jasonh16]

Being a nice guy,myself, I've noticed that women ignore guys like me in favor of guys that treat them poorly, ignore them and act as though they are of no importance to them whatsoever. While in a relationship with a guy like this, however, these women complain incessantly about wanting someone that will treat her well, respect her and make her feel special. When presented with the opportunity to date a guy like me, she passes up that chance and runs into the arms of another jerk. Can anyone explain this? I'm really confused and becoming rather discouraged by this.
Thanks,
Jason

[lynn]

They really don't know what they want, they only think that they do! :)

[Jasonh16]

Thanks for the response, Lynn, and that's actually an interesting point because I once heard a female therapist (I wish I could remember her name!) say that most women have no idea what they really want and claim to want things that are considered more socially acceptable instead of their true desires, i.e. a nice man that will be a good proivder instead of someone she just finds incredibly sexy. If this is ture, and it appears to be, that explains why it's so confusing for guys like me. Of course, if there is anyone out there that disagrees with this, please feel free to voice your opinon because I'm trying to understand this issue.

[Jasonh16]

:rolleyes: I've found the answer to my question.

[lynn]

Yea!!! I am so happy for you! :)

[DoItForHer]

Most girls just don't know what they wan't you have to be confident enough to keep her, confident enough to make her feel safe with U, and no one else, when you look into her eyes and she's looking back nothing else should matter except you 2 at that very moment.

The last girl that I was into thaught I gave a "Cocky and Arrogant vibe" , but by no means was I an asshole which is what most people think girls want...it's not....Confiedence.

But if I had to be an asshole to get what she wanted, like a better place in line..or that last parking spot...then yea.....DO IT FOR HER!

[Yogo]

wow. I thought most women did know what they want, at least as much as most men do.
Jason - it may not be that you are too nice, you may have some personality flaw you are unaware of that makes women find you unattractive (or at least the women you speak of that are not interested in you)
I think it's a problem when you try to define things by gender stereotypes.
Each human is an individual, and ought to be defined as such.

a relationship should be based on a mutual affection, respect etc... in no way should you change your behaviour in an attempt to adapt to your idea of 'what she wants' rather an egalitarian and honest relationship will have both of you being honest about what you want to each other. Supposing to read your partners mind in a misguided attempt to please them is generally a bad idea, for your relationship and for your own integrity.
Be yourself, be honest, be true to what you both want


of course not all or even most women want to have a relationship with a jerk.

[Pitbull]

Dude i so know what u talking about, i've asked that question a number of times, and i've finally found a solution that i can relate to.

sometimes people in general have no idea of what they need,

i say need instead of want , they are 2 very different things.

I want a flashy sports car to drive, i need a vehicle that takes me from A to B. Nice Guys themselves have no clue, men and women face the same problem.

Sometimes i wonder wouldn't it be perfect if men knew what they wanted and women knew what they wanted.... takes away the complication of it all...but thats a learning curve something that can only be understood with time and maturity, thas why u sposed to get wiser when u get older.

People are individuals , but i think ladies and gents can admit there have been times where they have made the wrong choice knowingly, thats and indication of wanting something only to find out later u actually needed something else....

So do nice guys finish last, not always, but then again the bad guys don't win all the time niether. The important thing is to always be who you are and not what other people want you to be, and in current times that is something that has been lost, which leads to the loss of your individualism.

From one nice guy to another

Be yourself man , then some lady out there is gonna be the luckiest lady in the world, time and tide people.

And yes i also believe women need to stop complaining about how they are treated by men, and do something about it, we all have the power to change our circumstances, aim for the stars so if u fall at least u land on the clouds.

[lynn]

I really like your outlook on life Pitbulll, especially your last statement. "we all have the power to change our circumstances, aim for the stars so if u fall at least u land on the clouds." :)