Mr. Pitiful
09-02-2004, 04:06 PM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will become stuck in a wicker chair. This is what the British refer to as a "sticky wicker", as it is an unfortunately common occurrence in their climate. Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will need two torches, a sword, leather armor, and a significant amount of courage today. And for heaven's sake, don't forget the twine. Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
It will seem a great shame to you today, that your little finger has a cute name -- "pinky" -- but none of your other fingers do. That's the sort of thing that very few people besides you really spend much time pondering. They have such limited minds, don't they? Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you shall laugh your bitter laugh. You'll also sneeze your bitter sneeze. Leo (July 23 - August 22)
This is a time when you need to hold on to your dreams. Or in other words, reality is becoming too much for you, and you should try to escape into a bizarre fantasy life. Heck, it works fine for Ross Perot, doesn't it? Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
About your new idea... Sure, I'll bet you could sell your handmade voodoo dolls by marketing them over the Internet. The competition, however, can be "fierce." You might want to stop and consider how many flights of stairs you're interested in falling down, before you commit yourself to that course of action... Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Good time to learn to play the harmonica. If you get one of those coat hanger thingies to hang around your neck, you can even play it while you're typing! Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Excellent day to devour fruit, while making snarling sounds and glaring at persons nearby. Next, tear the heads off the carnations and stuff them partway up your nose, and make strange wuffling sounds while vigorously wiggling your eyebrows. Or don't, if you're going to be stuffy. It's your life. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Stay well clear of anti-tachyon beams, today. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Excellent day, today. Unless today is your 15th birthday, of course, in which case you're destined to have a particularly embarassing episode involving a cat and an argyle sock. Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today you will discover a strange-looking thing in your underwear drawer. Best not to tell anyone. Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Today you will lose all self-control. You'll find it again tomorrow, though -- it just rolled under the couch.
:D
Today you will become stuck in a wicker chair. This is what the British refer to as a "sticky wicker", as it is an unfortunately common occurrence in their climate. Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will need two torches, a sword, leather armor, and a significant amount of courage today. And for heaven's sake, don't forget the twine. Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
It will seem a great shame to you today, that your little finger has a cute name -- "pinky" -- but none of your other fingers do. That's the sort of thing that very few people besides you really spend much time pondering. They have such limited minds, don't they? Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you shall laugh your bitter laugh. You'll also sneeze your bitter sneeze. Leo (July 23 - August 22)
This is a time when you need to hold on to your dreams. Or in other words, reality is becoming too much for you, and you should try to escape into a bizarre fantasy life. Heck, it works fine for Ross Perot, doesn't it? Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
About your new idea... Sure, I'll bet you could sell your handmade voodoo dolls by marketing them over the Internet. The competition, however, can be "fierce." You might want to stop and consider how many flights of stairs you're interested in falling down, before you commit yourself to that course of action... Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Good time to learn to play the harmonica. If you get one of those coat hanger thingies to hang around your neck, you can even play it while you're typing! Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Excellent day to devour fruit, while making snarling sounds and glaring at persons nearby. Next, tear the heads off the carnations and stuff them partway up your nose, and make strange wuffling sounds while vigorously wiggling your eyebrows. Or don't, if you're going to be stuffy. It's your life. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Stay well clear of anti-tachyon beams, today. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Excellent day, today. Unless today is your 15th birthday, of course, in which case you're destined to have a particularly embarassing episode involving a cat and an argyle sock. Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today you will discover a strange-looking thing in your underwear drawer. Best not to tell anyone. Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Today you will lose all self-control. You'll find it again tomorrow, though -- it just rolled under the couch.
:D