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Mr. Pitiful
09-03-2004, 03:07 AM
ARIES

You are particularly pushy and arrogant lately. You can't help yourself.... Everyone, I mean everyone will make obscene gestures and throw things at you. I'm not kidding, k! TRY to be nice, k?







TAURUS

You will suddenly have loads of money, but nobody will understand, or even care what you want. All your fast-food orders are wrong. You will starve.







GEMINI

Great month for you, twinsey! You will switch friends and lovers at least 50 times. It should be lots of fun!!!!!







CANCER

Nobody cares how you feel this month. You are WAY too whiny and pitiful.... People will just look at you like you're nuts. You are. Get a grip. Go have a good cry. Talk to your garden.







LEO

Leos will get pushed around by Aries and - believe it or not - Sagis this month. You are definitely not King, or even Prince or Knight. You are a lowly Page. Hop to it!!!







VIRGO

Everything will go beautifully this month. You'll get everything done, just right, in record time. You will receive a raise. The company you work for will go broke because you missed ONE tiny detail last month. oops.





LIBRA

You will be seriously outcharmed by Geminis this month. You can't understand it. Nobody likes your style anymore. Your love life will go sour. You will shop til you drop and then they'll reject your credit cards. Get a job, slacker!







SCORPIO

Clever Air signs will catch you no matter how sneaky you try to be. You feel angry, betrayed, hurt. Your stinger is broken. Go sulk under a rock!







SAGITTARIUS

Your absolutely fabulous ideas are applauded by all, until it is discovered that they are founded on complete falsehoods. Your reputation will be ruined and you will run away to a far-far-land.





CAPRICORN

Your prior achievements compel others to expect more and more out of you. You will become exhausted trying to prove your worth. You are becomming a slave!! hahahahahaha







AQUARIUS

This is the perfect time to act like a complete nut case. Everyone else is acting whacky, too. Nobody will even notice you. Rats...







PISCES

Silly Fish, there is so much more to life than sleep! You MUST wake up or you'll miss some very good programming on TV. I mean it!