Mr. Pitiful
09-07-2004, 12:00 AM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will narrowly avoid a collision on the sidewalk today, as a small giggling person runs past you, being hotly pursued by a weeping incoherent person waving a ham sandwich. Aside from that, a pretty typical day. Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Good day to use the expression "just dandy" as much as possible. Tomorrow: "okey dokey" day. Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good time to be happy-go-lucky! You'll find that works out a lot better than the sad-go-accident-prone you've been trying. Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will go on a potato binge today. Baked, fried, scalloped, stuffed, mashed, whipped, and hash-browned. Just stay away from the tater tots, for your own good. Leo (July 23 - August 22)
As a joke, you should put an 8-foot-tall mucous-covered "egg" in your friend's basement. Then, when he or she goes down to do a load of laundry... Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Beware of Doug. Or a suspicious looking Mexican walking around in speedo's.Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Better have that spot checked out by a doctor. Sure it may look benign, but sometimes those carpet stains can spread. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Good day to buy lava lamps at garage sales. Once in a life-time opportunity. Also, if you happen to spot a white 100% polyester leisure suit with bell-bottom pants and a really large lapel, buy it on the spot. I know *I* would love to have one. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will find that you can make an incredibly silly sound, and will spend the entire day making it, and then laughing. Try with a friend also.Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Someone will ask you for your advice. Don't give it! Or if they insist, simply shake your head solemnly, and mutter "Much bad juju", and refuse to clarify. They only want a scapegoat. Or try saying," No speako Inglees"Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Everyone around you will act silly, today -- whapping each other with floral matter, calling each other "Doctor", and doing the Conga in the hallway. The most likely explanation is that there's a nitrous oxide leak somewhere. Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Bad hair day today. In fact, it's quite likely that your hair will actually be arrested. By the ASPCA.
:D
You will narrowly avoid a collision on the sidewalk today, as a small giggling person runs past you, being hotly pursued by a weeping incoherent person waving a ham sandwich. Aside from that, a pretty typical day. Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Good day to use the expression "just dandy" as much as possible. Tomorrow: "okey dokey" day. Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good time to be happy-go-lucky! You'll find that works out a lot better than the sad-go-accident-prone you've been trying. Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will go on a potato binge today. Baked, fried, scalloped, stuffed, mashed, whipped, and hash-browned. Just stay away from the tater tots, for your own good. Leo (July 23 - August 22)
As a joke, you should put an 8-foot-tall mucous-covered "egg" in your friend's basement. Then, when he or she goes down to do a load of laundry... Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Beware of Doug. Or a suspicious looking Mexican walking around in speedo's.Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Better have that spot checked out by a doctor. Sure it may look benign, but sometimes those carpet stains can spread. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Good day to buy lava lamps at garage sales. Once in a life-time opportunity. Also, if you happen to spot a white 100% polyester leisure suit with bell-bottom pants and a really large lapel, buy it on the spot. I know *I* would love to have one. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will find that you can make an incredibly silly sound, and will spend the entire day making it, and then laughing. Try with a friend also.Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Someone will ask you for your advice. Don't give it! Or if they insist, simply shake your head solemnly, and mutter "Much bad juju", and refuse to clarify. They only want a scapegoat. Or try saying," No speako Inglees"Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Everyone around you will act silly, today -- whapping each other with floral matter, calling each other "Doctor", and doing the Conga in the hallway. The most likely explanation is that there's a nitrous oxide leak somewhere. Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Bad hair day today. In fact, it's quite likely that your hair will actually be arrested. By the ASPCA.
:D