Mr. Pitiful
09-08-2004, 12:13 AM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today try to avoid walking by tall buildings, There will be a pissed off, frustrated person downloading their computer out their window. There’s a good chance you will be on the receiving end……
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will meet the person of your dreams, Oh! Sorry! I meant your nightmare dreams.
Gemini (May 21-June 20
You will be tempted to help a sweet little old lady to cross the intersection today. DON’T! that sweet old lady just held-up the bank about a block away, and is carrying a shot gun that’s hidden in her umbrella.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will spend another entire day worried about your feet. But honestly, most people don't notice these things. On the other hand, most people don't spontaneously grow more toes, either. Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will be confronted by an old blind man, who will ask you for $5.00, and will promise to pay you back next time he sees you, Hey! It’s your moneyVirgo (August 23 - September 22)
While attending a séance "just for fun", you will be possessed by the spirit of Rasputin. Surprisingly, it will be a good career move. Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Today you spend most of the day trying to explain to your co-workers that it wasn’t you who stinks, that it was the dog do-do that you stepped on the sidewalk, But you won’t convince all of them.. Nice Try.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You've been complaining too much, lately. You might find more to enjoy in your life by watching a documentary about a lot of people starving to death in miserable third-world slums. I know that always cheers me right up! Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today is a great day to fool everyone by smearing some whip cream on your upper lip, making everyone think that you had your glass of milk, but for people with minds in the gutter, I’m sure they’ll think something else.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Today will be a great opportunity to do some acting. Guys run up and down the street yelling in a deep New Yorker accent ….ADRIAN! ADRIAN! And gals can do the same except you yell MICKEY! MICKEY!, People will think you are practicing for another sequel to Rocky, either that or they will call the Looney Farm to pick you upAquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will find yourself experimenting on that saying ,” Don’t Spit Against the Wind." Just make sure to carry plenty of Kleenex.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will feel a great urge to find happiness, My advise is to go to a park with a lot of trees, and just hope for the Blue bird of happiness to fly by and make a large deposit of happiness right on your head.
:D
Today try to avoid walking by tall buildings, There will be a pissed off, frustrated person downloading their computer out their window. There’s a good chance you will be on the receiving end……
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will meet the person of your dreams, Oh! Sorry! I meant your nightmare dreams.
Gemini (May 21-June 20
You will be tempted to help a sweet little old lady to cross the intersection today. DON’T! that sweet old lady just held-up the bank about a block away, and is carrying a shot gun that’s hidden in her umbrella.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will spend another entire day worried about your feet. But honestly, most people don't notice these things. On the other hand, most people don't spontaneously grow more toes, either. Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will be confronted by an old blind man, who will ask you for $5.00, and will promise to pay you back next time he sees you, Hey! It’s your moneyVirgo (August 23 - September 22)
While attending a séance "just for fun", you will be possessed by the spirit of Rasputin. Surprisingly, it will be a good career move. Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Today you spend most of the day trying to explain to your co-workers that it wasn’t you who stinks, that it was the dog do-do that you stepped on the sidewalk, But you won’t convince all of them.. Nice Try.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You've been complaining too much, lately. You might find more to enjoy in your life by watching a documentary about a lot of people starving to death in miserable third-world slums. I know that always cheers me right up! Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today is a great day to fool everyone by smearing some whip cream on your upper lip, making everyone think that you had your glass of milk, but for people with minds in the gutter, I’m sure they’ll think something else.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Today will be a great opportunity to do some acting. Guys run up and down the street yelling in a deep New Yorker accent ….ADRIAN! ADRIAN! And gals can do the same except you yell MICKEY! MICKEY!, People will think you are practicing for another sequel to Rocky, either that or they will call the Looney Farm to pick you upAquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will find yourself experimenting on that saying ,” Don’t Spit Against the Wind." Just make sure to carry plenty of Kleenex.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will feel a great urge to find happiness, My advise is to go to a park with a lot of trees, and just hope for the Blue bird of happiness to fly by and make a large deposit of happiness right on your head.
:D