Mr. Pitiful
09-10-2004, 11:35 PM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
A martian creature named Yig, who is more than ten thousand years old yet has the disposition of a cranky two-year old child, is hiding under your house. That's where the raisin-cookies have been going. Ah you didn't know that, did you. And here you thought it was the mice.Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Remember: you can't tell your boss to get lost. You can, however, give him the wrong directions, But then he seems to be lost most of the time anyway.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Your requests are being ignored. Often you can get people to pay attention by simply adding a few words to the end of your request, such as "Pick up your socks, dear, or could you visit the kitchen once in a while. or just die screaming." Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will get a wrong number phone call. See how long you can keep them on the line before they figure it out. Extra points if you can get them to tell you their height and weight! Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will lurk, today. There's nothing that wrong with lurking, after all, and it's occasionally somewhat refreshing. In fact, you'll soon begin work on How To Lurk, a best-selling self-help book on the topic. Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
What you are about to do is wrong. Of course, you will only find that out much later. For now, enjoy yourself! Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You are developing a strangely magnetic personality. Soon people you don't even know will begin hanging around with you, hoping for some small sign of your attention. Also, iron filings will begin sticking to the tip of your nose. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Good time to get involved in the Fiber Arts. Why not see what you can do with Metamucil? Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will overhear a whispered conversation, regarding how cute it is the way someone wiggles their tushy when they walk. You will have an uncomfortable feeling that they may be referring to you. This may make you a trifle self-conscious, and also make you spend hours in front of your mirror, just looking at your tush to see if it really wiggles.Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Once you're that far behind, there's really no way to get caught up. You might as well do something fun instead. You can tell them I told you it was ok. Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
.syas enoyna gniht elgnis a dnatsrednu ot elba eb t'now uoy yadot, ylddO Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will discover the secret to becoming a great artist! You can stick anything you want on the wall, the trick is to make people think deep thought went into it. For example, spray-paint a bathroom plunger gold, and stick little angel wings on it. Call it "Life In The Details." Or perhaps call it "John's tooth-pick".
:D
A martian creature named Yig, who is more than ten thousand years old yet has the disposition of a cranky two-year old child, is hiding under your house. That's where the raisin-cookies have been going. Ah you didn't know that, did you. And here you thought it was the mice.Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Remember: you can't tell your boss to get lost. You can, however, give him the wrong directions, But then he seems to be lost most of the time anyway.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Your requests are being ignored. Often you can get people to pay attention by simply adding a few words to the end of your request, such as "Pick up your socks, dear, or could you visit the kitchen once in a while. or just die screaming." Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will get a wrong number phone call. See how long you can keep them on the line before they figure it out. Extra points if you can get them to tell you their height and weight! Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will lurk, today. There's nothing that wrong with lurking, after all, and it's occasionally somewhat refreshing. In fact, you'll soon begin work on How To Lurk, a best-selling self-help book on the topic. Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
What you are about to do is wrong. Of course, you will only find that out much later. For now, enjoy yourself! Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You are developing a strangely magnetic personality. Soon people you don't even know will begin hanging around with you, hoping for some small sign of your attention. Also, iron filings will begin sticking to the tip of your nose. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Good time to get involved in the Fiber Arts. Why not see what you can do with Metamucil? Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will overhear a whispered conversation, regarding how cute it is the way someone wiggles their tushy when they walk. You will have an uncomfortable feeling that they may be referring to you. This may make you a trifle self-conscious, and also make you spend hours in front of your mirror, just looking at your tush to see if it really wiggles.Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Once you're that far behind, there's really no way to get caught up. You might as well do something fun instead. You can tell them I told you it was ok. Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
.syas enoyna gniht elgnis a dnatsrednu ot elba eb t'now uoy yadot, ylddO Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will discover the secret to becoming a great artist! You can stick anything you want on the wall, the trick is to make people think deep thought went into it. For example, spray-paint a bathroom plunger gold, and stick little angel wings on it. Call it "Life In The Details." Or perhaps call it "John's tooth-pick".
:D