Mr. Pitiful
09-12-2004, 01:07 AM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Beware of people with big ears and long noses, today. Ooops!, I hadn’t noticed yours.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today will be especially exhausting, and if you're not careful, you could end up in a pretty grumpy frame of mind. Take precautions! Wear your E.T. underwear, or your Bunny suit, you know, the one with the fluffy tail.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
To your chagrin and horror, you will find yourself humming along with "muzac" in the grocery store. It's the beginning of the long slow slide, I'm afraid. Next stop: collecting "nick nacks".
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will irritate people. In fact, you'll irritate yourself. Just go to bed early.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will have the eerie sensation that either you are going crazy or you are being watched by something indescribably evil. Luckily for you, you're in fine shape, mentally.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Family problems again. It'll be just like that Rolling Stones song, about how you "Can't Always Get What You Wa-ant", except that in your case, you can replace one of the words with "Ever". Try being positive and future-focused. Also, pretend you don't speak English. Throw in a few Spanish words, like” I’m Loco in the head” That always works for me.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Avoid yodelling today. Especially with your mouth full.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Your perfume or cologne has too much patchoulli. Only an idiot wears patchoulli. Or a witch. Hmm. Er, never mind. Wear whatever you like. I'm sure it's quite nice.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Time for an excursion! Remember to pack some sandwiches, and carry a large ball of twine (it's easy to get lost in the city -- the twine should help).
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will be offered a recording contract from a Talent Scout, somehow he heard you singing in the shower, and liked your voice, what he was doing in your bathroom, I haven’t the slightest idea.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Small fluffy animals will come over and lean on you, today. It's just their way of showing their appreciation, and of telling you that you are furniture.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
That bad smell in the closet will get stronger. Time to investigate.
:D
Beware of people with big ears and long noses, today. Ooops!, I hadn’t noticed yours.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today will be especially exhausting, and if you're not careful, you could end up in a pretty grumpy frame of mind. Take precautions! Wear your E.T. underwear, or your Bunny suit, you know, the one with the fluffy tail.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
To your chagrin and horror, you will find yourself humming along with "muzac" in the grocery store. It's the beginning of the long slow slide, I'm afraid. Next stop: collecting "nick nacks".
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will irritate people. In fact, you'll irritate yourself. Just go to bed early.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will have the eerie sensation that either you are going crazy or you are being watched by something indescribably evil. Luckily for you, you're in fine shape, mentally.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Family problems again. It'll be just like that Rolling Stones song, about how you "Can't Always Get What You Wa-ant", except that in your case, you can replace one of the words with "Ever". Try being positive and future-focused. Also, pretend you don't speak English. Throw in a few Spanish words, like” I’m Loco in the head” That always works for me.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Avoid yodelling today. Especially with your mouth full.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Your perfume or cologne has too much patchoulli. Only an idiot wears patchoulli. Or a witch. Hmm. Er, never mind. Wear whatever you like. I'm sure it's quite nice.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Time for an excursion! Remember to pack some sandwiches, and carry a large ball of twine (it's easy to get lost in the city -- the twine should help).
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will be offered a recording contract from a Talent Scout, somehow he heard you singing in the shower, and liked your voice, what he was doing in your bathroom, I haven’t the slightest idea.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Small fluffy animals will come over and lean on you, today. It's just their way of showing their appreciation, and of telling you that you are furniture.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
That bad smell in the closet will get stronger. Time to investigate.
:D