Mr. Pitiful
09-13-2004, 11:40 PM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Beware of galoots, today. Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will develop a passion for Cajun cuisine, and will refuse to eat anything that hasn't been "blackened." Your family will draw the line at blackened corn flakes, however. Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Due to forces beyond comprehension, you will begin talking with a Texas accent. Eventually, you'll come out with audio tapes to teach this to others, which you will call "Bubba-Bonics." Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Good day to snitch cookies when nobody's looking. Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will make some new friends today. One of them will be on some sort of "sacred quest", which will make a good ice-breaker. ("So...what's with the coconuts?") Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will come up with a theory about people - that you can learn a lot about them, simply by removing the first letter of their name. For example, Ron -> On. That's why I'm on-line. That also explains why Hugh acts so primitive, sometimes. And if I were you, I'd avoid Alice. Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Today you'll become incensed at the thought that you missed out on all the fun during the 60's and 70's, and will change your name to "Sunflower" in protest. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will turn over a new leaf. Good for you! We were all getting a little tired of you, you know, as you were. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will exercise self-discipline. It's about time, too! Your self-discipline was starting to get somewhat portly. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You'll get your big break today! Try not to blow it. And stand up straight - shoulders back! That's better. Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Chaos will ensue, when you are accidentally hit by a motorist, just as a bus full of lawyers specializing in insurance claims is passing by on the way to a conference. The bus will literally erupt into a heaving mass of clawing, screaming, and briefcase-bashing lunatics. Eventually they'll take out a class-action lawsuit against you. Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will get a notion to become a street food-vendor, and will make yourself a food serving cart for the "Tuna Tacky Taco" You will sell pint containers of hot Tuna Taco Sauce, cooked with sauteed onions, garlic, and other vegetables. To everyone's amazement, you'll succeed fabulously, eventually making millions off the franchise rights alone. Yuck!!
:D
Beware of galoots, today. Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will develop a passion for Cajun cuisine, and will refuse to eat anything that hasn't been "blackened." Your family will draw the line at blackened corn flakes, however. Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Due to forces beyond comprehension, you will begin talking with a Texas accent. Eventually, you'll come out with audio tapes to teach this to others, which you will call "Bubba-Bonics." Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Good day to snitch cookies when nobody's looking. Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will make some new friends today. One of them will be on some sort of "sacred quest", which will make a good ice-breaker. ("So...what's with the coconuts?") Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will come up with a theory about people - that you can learn a lot about them, simply by removing the first letter of their name. For example, Ron -> On. That's why I'm on-line. That also explains why Hugh acts so primitive, sometimes. And if I were you, I'd avoid Alice. Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Today you'll become incensed at the thought that you missed out on all the fun during the 60's and 70's, and will change your name to "Sunflower" in protest. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will turn over a new leaf. Good for you! We were all getting a little tired of you, you know, as you were. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will exercise self-discipline. It's about time, too! Your self-discipline was starting to get somewhat portly. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You'll get your big break today! Try not to blow it. And stand up straight - shoulders back! That's better. Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Chaos will ensue, when you are accidentally hit by a motorist, just as a bus full of lawyers specializing in insurance claims is passing by on the way to a conference. The bus will literally erupt into a heaving mass of clawing, screaming, and briefcase-bashing lunatics. Eventually they'll take out a class-action lawsuit against you. Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will get a notion to become a street food-vendor, and will make yourself a food serving cart for the "Tuna Tacky Taco" You will sell pint containers of hot Tuna Taco Sauce, cooked with sauteed onions, garlic, and other vegetables. To everyone's amazement, you'll succeed fabulously, eventually making millions off the franchise rights alone. Yuck!!
:D