Mr. Pitiful
09-14-2004, 11:26 PM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will be involved in a auto accident, not to worry, only a fender bender. But as you get out of your car to check the damage to both vehicles and to the other driver, which is about 6 ft 5, and about 230 lbs. mean looking guy.
You come out with a stupid remark, and asked him if he was jelling. Now my friend, you've been watching too many commercials. Consider yourself lucky you came out of this one with only a black-eye.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
The mythic asteroid Mundureon, in collaboration with the uneasy spirit of Atahualpa (the last Inca king), will act to produce a gastric upset of epic proportions, today. Keep your chakras clear, and carry some Immodium. Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
A man will be passing by when you suddenly recall a hilarious Monty Python skit, and you'll burst out laughing. Later, you'll notice him anxiously looking at himself in a mirror. Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Excellent day to just walk down the street, going "Doo wah ditty, ditty dum ditty doo." I'd stop short of taking a walk on the wild side, though. Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Leek soup day, today. Despite your recent tendency towards shoplifting vegetables, I highly recommend you buy a leek, not take one. Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
This week you will angrily tell someone that you are more than just a name and a number! You are also a punctuation! with a semi-colon.Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Remember: good people are good because they gain wisdom through failure. Happily, there's every reason to believe you'll become much better soon! Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will find solace, and it won't look at all like you expected. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will find the word "impecunious" popping unbidden into your mind, at regular intervals. Eventually, you'll go look it up in the dictionary. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Someone nearby will make disgusting slurping sounds in your favorite restaurant. You'll retaliate by glaring pointedly, and by eating your linguini with your fingers. Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today you will rescue several hostages from a life-or-death situation, using only a banana milkshake and a length of twine. Film at 11. Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Today one or more close relations will pout and argue. You will calmly endure this, and will steadfastly refuse to relinquish control of the remote control.
:D
Today you will be involved in a auto accident, not to worry, only a fender bender. But as you get out of your car to check the damage to both vehicles and to the other driver, which is about 6 ft 5, and about 230 lbs. mean looking guy.
You come out with a stupid remark, and asked him if he was jelling. Now my friend, you've been watching too many commercials. Consider yourself lucky you came out of this one with only a black-eye.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
The mythic asteroid Mundureon, in collaboration with the uneasy spirit of Atahualpa (the last Inca king), will act to produce a gastric upset of epic proportions, today. Keep your chakras clear, and carry some Immodium. Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
A man will be passing by when you suddenly recall a hilarious Monty Python skit, and you'll burst out laughing. Later, you'll notice him anxiously looking at himself in a mirror. Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Excellent day to just walk down the street, going "Doo wah ditty, ditty dum ditty doo." I'd stop short of taking a walk on the wild side, though. Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Leek soup day, today. Despite your recent tendency towards shoplifting vegetables, I highly recommend you buy a leek, not take one. Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
This week you will angrily tell someone that you are more than just a name and a number! You are also a punctuation! with a semi-colon.Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Remember: good people are good because they gain wisdom through failure. Happily, there's every reason to believe you'll become much better soon! Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will find solace, and it won't look at all like you expected. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will find the word "impecunious" popping unbidden into your mind, at regular intervals. Eventually, you'll go look it up in the dictionary. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Someone nearby will make disgusting slurping sounds in your favorite restaurant. You'll retaliate by glaring pointedly, and by eating your linguini with your fingers. Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today you will rescue several hostages from a life-or-death situation, using only a banana milkshake and a length of twine. Film at 11. Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Today one or more close relations will pout and argue. You will calmly endure this, and will steadfastly refuse to relinquish control of the remote control.
:D