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Fun Bar Pages
Signs
You're a Drunk
- You
lose arguments with inanimate objects.
- You
believe that spilling a beer is alcohol abuse.
- Beer
ads make sense.
- You
wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet
and you're so dry that it sounds mighty thirst quenching.
- You
fall down a flight of steps and DON'T spill a drop of
your beer.
- You
grow a beard because it stops beer that's running down
your chin.
- You
explain to your bank manager that you spent your overdraft
mainly on beer and women; "the rest I just wasted."
- You
spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect.
- You
have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the
earth.
- Job
interferring with your drinking.
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Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
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Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusettes.
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The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet
seat.
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Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
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24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence??
- I don't think so!
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Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking
problem!
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You can focus better with one eye closed.
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The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in
the bar.
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You fall off the floor...
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Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
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Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw
dinner!
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Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
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At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
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Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
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You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom,
you fell asleep clothed.
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The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
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Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat
more and more attractive.
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Roseanne looks good.
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Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
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Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they
walk past you.
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I'm as jober as a sudge.
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You wake up in Korea in August and the last thing you
remember is the Fourth of July party at the Halekulani
in Waikiki.
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The shrubbery's drunk too from frequent watering.
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