You bought your wife a new CD ROM drive for her birthday.

You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.

You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting.

You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.

You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects.

You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.

You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.