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Skeleton jokes

Joke Rating: rate funny jokes( 172 votes )
Views: 11075


Q: What happened when the skeletons rode pogo sticks ?
A: They had a rattling good time !

Q: Why did the skeleton go to hospital ?
A: To have his ghoul stones removed !

Q: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain ?
A: He could feel it in his bones !

Q: What's a skeleton's favourite musical instrument ?
A: A trom-bone !

Q: How do skeletons call their friends ?
A: On the telebone !

Q: What do you call a skeleton who won't get up in the mornings ?
A: Lazy bones !

Q: What do boney people use to get into their homes ?
A: Skeleton keys !

Q: What do you call a skeleton who acts in Westerns ?
A: Skint Eastwood !

Q: What happened to the boat that sank in the sea full of piranha fish ?
A: It came back with a skeleton crew !

Q: What do you call a skeleton snake ?
A: A rattler !

Q: What is a skeletons like to drink milk ?
A: Milk - it's so good for the bones !

Q: Why did the skeleton stay out in the snow all night ?
A: He was a numbskull !

Q: What do you call a stupid skeleton ?
A: Bonehead !

Q: What happened to the skeleton who stayed by the fire too long ?
A: He became bone dry !

Q: What happened to the lazy skeleton ?
A: He was bone idle !

Q: Why did the skeleton pupil stay late at school ?
A: He was boning up for his exams !

Q: What sort of soup do skeletons like ?
A: One with plenty of body in it !

Q: Why did the skeleton run up a tree ?
A: Because a dog was after his bones !

Q: What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend ?
A: I love every bone in your body !

Q: Why wasn't the naughty skeleton afraid of the police ?
A: Because he knew they couldn't pin anything on him !

Q: How do skeletons get their mail ?
A: By bony express !

Q: Why don't skeletons play music in church ?
A: They have no organs !

Q: What kind of plate does a skeleton eat off ?
A: Bone china !

Q: Why do skeletons hate winter ?
A: Because the wind just goes straight through them !

Q: What's a skeleton's favourite pop group ?
A: Boney M !

Q: What do you do if you see a skeleton running across a road ?
A: Jump out of your skin and join him !

Q: What did the old skeleton complain of ?
A: Aching bones !

Q: What is a skeleton ?
A: Somebody on a diet who forgot to say "when" !

Q: What happened to the skeleton that was attacked by a dog ?
A: He ran off with some bones and didn't leave him with a leg to stand on !

Q: Why are skeletons so calm ?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin !

Q: What do you call a skeleton that is always telling lies ?
A: A boney phoney !

Q: Why didn't the skeleton want to play football ?
A: Because his heart wasn't in it !

Q: What happened to the skeleton who went to a party ?
A: All the others used him as a coat rack !

Q: What do you call a skeleton who presses the door bell ?
A: A dead ringer !

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