I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (ok in Texas)

Sorry, officer, i didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't you the guy from the village people?

Hey, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me.

Are you Andy or Barney?

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

I pay your salary!

Gee, officer, that's terrific! the last officer only gave me a warning, too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. yes, i know there are no other cars around, that's how far ahead of me they are.