Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines for the next company Chrismas party.

1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is not advised.

2. Playing Jingle Bells on the phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)

3. Gift requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."

4. Employees are to bring only THEIR spouses.

5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 4th.

6. This year, please be sure all gifts put under the tree, are non flammable.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.